So at the end of THAT round...

Everybody's banging out about the General Election and the petty advertising campaign that the Labour and the Tory camps are in. It's annoying and I won't waste my time writing about something which has already been ripped apart by everybody else. It just wouldn't be original, would it.

So let's look at this campaign, because it's interesting. The point scoring system that seems to have been developing between Brown and Cameron is very entertaining. I'm starting to think they've been doing it on purpose. Labour however scored their first "own goal" as many are putting it the other day by bringing Gene Hunt into the equation. Here's the dreaded picture:

Ouch. That's a faux pas. Here's a more entertaining picture of Labour looking all pleased with themselves in front of it:

Astounding.

The Tories immediately ran in on Brown watching Redtube by coming up with their own poster. Basically the same thing. Genius:


Conservative Camp bragged that within four hours this riposte was out. That's poor. I could have changed the words, pressed Ctrl C+V and had that on Facebook within four minutes. I could have even done it with a toilet break, an egg bap and a bit of Jeremy Kyle inbetween. Maybe I could do it all at the same time! But I'd be pushing myself.

While this is all going on, I'm sat here wondering what the Lib Dems are doing? I haven't seen ANY propaga campaigning from their end? I googled, and I found:

Just as I thought. They've been picking their bums. I've found better drawings of Calamity Clegg scribbled down on a Christmas card in crayon. Don't believe me? This is the closest the Guardian came to "Lib Dem" poster campaigning:


Honestly. It's actually annoyed me now. I understand full well the "first past the post" system favours them like a bug in the arse, but you can really put more effort in than that. Your voters aren't twelve.

That said, lower the age of voting and you'll be in for sure. You've got underage drinking, flying reindeer and Santa for tea in this poster. Now that's what I call Manifesto 2010.

Attenborough's Cash-Cow

So it's Sunday and I've spent my whole day sat at a computer using this as a poor excuse for "work". The glasses are on due to eye strain, so I'll use this as my get-out-of-jail-free card. I've actually AFFECTED MY HEALTH doing this essay, Father! Have pity on me!



Casually works.

The rest of the house is actually really cold, apart from the kitchen/conservatory thing which is warm and lovely. It's only the toes that are a bit cold, but that's my own fault for not wearing socks. The television is on in the corner as my grandparents flitter around doing things. As on any Easter Sunday, a David Attenborough nature programme is on. This doesn't surprise me, but I do think about them every time I watch one. What if this is his last? What if there were no more and he cops it after, OR EVEN DURING, recording. Do they continue? Or do these wonderful works of art just stop? The hunt for new and "cool shizz" under the ocean, in the rainforests and in the deserts does not develop anymore, because the only man worthy enough of wearing the leafy crown has kicked the bucket. It's like replacing Jesus: "Ok so you've applied for the job of...Messiah?"

Look, he lets them kiss him!

I have noticed that Scottish guy is starting to do a few more. I know if he took over, I just wouldn't watch them anymore. I'm not a Scotophobe. I just know whatever he says will translate into my head as nothing more than "I'M CASHING IN ON THE SUCCESS OF AN OLD MAN. HERE, HOLD ONTO THE BACKFAT OF THIS CASH-COW I'M RIDING ON! IT GOES STRAIGHT TO THE BANK!"

Sure he can laugh, but can he do his own stunts? The answer is of course, no. And I've never seen the new guy laugh either.